Dirty Little Secret
by Scarlet'sLetter
Summary: Adrian finds out Dimitri's most secret secret. Warning, complete silliness.


"Just concentrate, Adrian," Lissa urged. "I'm sure you can do it."

Adrian stared at the tiny plant. A whole minute passed by. "Damn it!" he yelled. "It just won't grow!"

"You need to calm down," Lissa advised. "Let's meditate for a few minutes, shall we?"

Dimitri, who was reading a book on the floor, looked up in amusement. Adrian and meditating?

Pfft. Like that was going to happen.

Shaking his head, the Russian returned to his exciting Western novel. While Lissa seeked nirvana, Adrian let his eyes wander. He was bored out of his mind! Suddenly, a small movement caught his eye.

_Skrit. Skrit. _

A brown beetle like creature scuttled across the floor. It stopped a meter or so away from Dimitri. _A cockroach, _Adrian thought disinterestedly and looked away.

Dimitri looked up from his book and stifled a groan. He disliked - no, _hated_ cockroaches. He shut his eyes, willing to thing to go away. When he thought it was safe, he opened his eyes and gave a start. The cockroach was still there! To make matters worse, it was staring at him with its beady little eyes.

Dimitri squirmed uncomfortably as he stared back at the insect. It's antennas twitched.

Adrian looked at Dimitri curiously, wondering why he was so uncomfortable and squeamish all of a sudden. He followed the Russian's eyes and spotted the roach. _Is he...is Belikov scared? Of a cockroach?_ he wondered. _Nah, it can't be...can it? _He studied the damphir's aura. His usual cool was gone, and was now replaced with a swirling cloud of brown, red and bits of black. Or in simple words, he was scared of his wits.

"Belikov," Adrian whispered, warily looking at Lissa. She didn't hear him. "Are you scared of a roach?"

"No." Dimitri answered automatically in his stoic, manly voice. Adrian thought that he could detect a tremor of fear in his voice, so he decided to asked again just to make sure.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Are you really, _really _sure?"

"Yes, I'm really really sure," Dimitri replied through gritted teeth. He was getting annoyed at all the questions. He glared, albeit a little fearfully, at the cockrroach. Thanks to the pest, Adrian was going to find out his deepest, darkest fear. Wouldn't it be a great joke if people found out that Dimitri Belikov, the six foot seven Russian who had killed numerous Strigoi (and had survived being one too), was terrified of a mere cockroach?

The cockroach stared back mockingly. Dimitri maintained his glare. _So you think you're a tough guy, huh? _The cockroach thought to itself. Then it smirked evilly as an idea struck its tiny brain. _Let's see how you like this!_

The cockroach moved a few inches forward.

Dimitri nearly cried out in surprise.

The cockroach grinned triumphantly._ Hah! _It thought,_ he's not so tough after all! Let's do this some more…_

It moved a few inches more.

Dimitri gulped and trembled. His palms began to sweat. _A few more inches and the roach would be on me, _he thought in horror.

_Do I end this now? Or do I scare him some more?_ The cockroach wondered. _Decisions, decisions_. It decided to play with Dimitri a bit more as it was more 'enjoyable'.

The cockroach twitched and moved one of its six legs forwards.

The once stoic, now shit scared Russian braced himself, preparing for the worst.

Nothing happened.

Dimitri looked cautiously at the cockroach. It was still in the same spot as before but it was now waving its feelers around cheekily. Dimitri stared incredulously at it. Then he scowled. That pest was playing around with him. He picked up his book and raised it threateningly. Granted, it was an ancient copy, but it could do some damage.

The insect chuckled to itself. _You wouldn't dare_, it thought, not feeling the slightest bit of fear. It was right, as Dimitri resumed his previous position. The book was a favourite. It would not go down with roach intestines on it.

Dimitri tensed as the cockroach inched its other leg forward. And then another. As it was about to reach Dimitri, there was the sound thundering footsteps. The door flung open.

"Christian, you _bastard!" _Rose screamed, chasing after the blue eyed Moroi, who was cackling madly, holding a small book in his hand.

"Give me my diary ba-"

Squish.

Rose looked at the right sole of her sneaker. "EWW! I stepped on a cockroach!" She scowled nastily at Christian, who was now laughing like a madman. She grabbed the book - he was too busy laughing - and hopped out of the room to wash the remains of the cockroach off, muttering "Ew!" with each step. Christian ended up on the floor, laughing so hard.

His punishment for stealing Rose's diary was to have the back of his most favourite shirt covered in cockroach legs. As Lissa carted off the wailing Moroi to get him cleaned up, Dimitri let out a sigh of relief. The thing was dead, and his secret was safe.

Then he heard someone snicker. Dimitri snapped his eyes open and found Adrian looking at him, eyes filled with amusement. Then he said something that made his stomach drop.

"I know your dirty little secret, Guardian Belikov."

* * *

This is pure silliness.

Read and review!


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